More Bang! For Your Buck – A third short, erotic encounter of the Judy Banger kind
Kudos to my wonderful cover artist Kim Van Meter. She found the perfect “vector” to represent my heroine Judy Banger, tweaked the image as needed added the great lettering and special accents–notice the handcuffs. And lips.
When I showed the first draft to my husband, he said, “Where are the lips? You gotta have lips.”
Be still my heart. He noticed. 🙂
I may have mentioned that when I started this series, I assumed there’d be three books. Who doesn’t love a good trilogy? But when I came to the end of this book something amazing happened. Someone unexpected showed up and took Judy’s–and my–breath away. Suddenly, I knew Judy had a chance at her very own HEA (happily-ever-after, for you non-romance junkies).
Here’s Judy’s first glimpse of the man (from More Bang! For Your Buck):
Fletcher’s annoyed snarl gave way to a sigh of resignation. He swallowed a big gulp of wine then said, “Hello, Dad. Imagine meeting you here.”
He made a sweeping gesture with his free hand. “Gang, let me introduce you to my father, Judge Wilson Canby.”
“Judge?” Lewis repeated before levitating off the bed to disappear into the bathroom.
Pru, Judy noticed, had apparently snatched her purse and hightailed it at the first sign of trouble.
Judy shrank against the cushion pinned by the blue steel gaze that surveyed her from toe to head. The man’s expression was as unreadable as his son’s, but tightly clenched fists and the rigid cast of his shoulders spoke volumes. Anger. Frustration. Disappointment. And something else. Grief? Despair?
She’d seen the same look on Buddy’s face when he talked about the pain of losing his wife or the regret he felt over the vast chasm of disconnect between him and his son. Buddy had thrown in the towel and let Lewis manage their relationship. This man, Judy guessed, wasn’t the type to give up without a fight. His Armani suit might as well have been made of chain mail.
Poor Judy. Caught in a most compromising position by the man of her dreams. How could any writer write her out of this mess?
That’s a very good question. I’ll let you know as soon as THE BIG BANG! THEORY is published (hopefully mid-June).
In the meantime, please help me get the word out about this series. Every review and social media “share” is greatly appreciated. And please sign up for my May Contest.
You may be the lucky winner of a $25 Amazon gift card,
your choice of any one of these three current Screw Senility titles
AND a free copy of On Fire Fiction’s LOVE ME SOME COWBOY, a box set of five great books by five awesome authors.
Confession time: I used to hate offering contests on my website.
Because they took so much time. At the end of the contest, I’d write every entry on a piece of paper, cut the names into individual squares, put them in a box and call my granddaughter to come pull a name for me.
Then my pal, Rogenna, author and blog guru, told me about Rafflecopter. Believe it or not, I managed to set this up on my website–with a little help from my computer guru, David Newberry. Last month’s drawing was a breeze. Rafflecopter picked the winner. Her name, coincidentally, was Rogenna. 🙂
So, May’s Contest is now up and running. (Click HERE to go to the contest page.)
I don’t know how it works, but it does. And one of the great prizes, I’m pleased and excited to offer is a copy of Love Me Some Cowboy, the soon-to-be-released 5-book compilation from five of my favorite authors: Lisa Mondello, Barbara McMahon, Jean Brashear (who is up for 2 Ritas this year), Ginger Chambers and Day Leclaire (who is up for her 13th Rita this year).
The winner will also get any book in my Screw Senility! series, PLUS a $25 Amazon gift card!
So what are you waiting for? Sign up now. Your chances are a whole lot better than the lottery–and it’s free to enter.
PS: If you’d like to share your special story of cowboy love, come on over to Goodreads. We’ve got a chat going on!
Like the number SEVEN…as in…The Magnificent Seven.
Ask Yul Brynner. If he were alive, he’d tell you: The right group of people can make magic happen.
And, it doesn’t hurt if one of the seven is Steve McQueen. (Be still my heart.)
So, what does The Magnificent Seven have to do with writing?
Well…um…seven rhymes with eleven…and since I belong to On Fire Fiction, a creative cooperative made up of ELEVEN published authors…okay, that’s a stretch. You’re right. You know me too well. I’ll use any excuse to post photos of Steve McQueen.
But, obviously, the main purpose of this blog is to introduce On Fire Fiction and its ELEVEN members –and to explain about this growing trend in publishing: authors working cooperatively–and creatively–to share the daunting and at times overwhelming task of promoting their work.
Why do authors need to worry about promotion?
We all know publishing, along with book buying habits, has changed. Ebooks, ereaders and online retailers like Amazon, iTunes and B&N make it easy to buy a book. But have you looked at all the titles out there?! Eek!
Smart, well-focused promotion helps your loyal readers find out about your latest release. Promotion raises your “discoverability” to attract new readers. Hopefully, promotion begets sales, which, to be frank, is how today’s author makes a living so he or she can continue to write books to promote.
So, let me introduce my wonderful, magnificent-if you will–cohorts:
If you follow me on Facebook and/or Twitter, you may have seen this photo from a get-together of the “West Coast” members of OnFireFiction. We used Facetime and Skype to work with our members on the east coast, Texas and Colorado. We covered a rigorous agenda. But, yes, we did break to eat. I learned that I really like Vietnamese Pho. Yummm. 😉
There is never a shortage of new things to learn in this ever-changing business–especially when it comes to marketing your books.
But knowing you’re not alone in your efforts really makes a difference. Plus, writers are the most generous professionals I know. We’re eager to share our experiences–good and bad. We’re happy to trade tips on what type of advertising works and what flops. We eagerly share and post the best sites for getting the word out about a new release. And we may be setting up a data base for finding the best Pho. 🙂
One exciting and very tangible thing to come out of this meeting turned out to be a win-win for both readers and authors. Offering “boxed sets” isn’t a new sales technique, but offering three complete books by three different authors for one super low price is just plain awesome.
Unsuitably Perfect, OnFireFiction’s first 3-in-1 “Boxed Set” is now available at Amazon for just $.99.
On Fire Fiction’s first Boxed Set!
So, that’s my magnificent news. Our fabulous OnFireFiction team has a whole bunch of exciting things planned. Here’s the link to the OFF Facebook page. Or follow OnFireFic on Twitter to stay abreast of what’s happening.
Forgive the salacious title, but it fits. Here’s why:
Ebooks are fluid.
Epublishing is not yo’ mama’s written-on-paper-bound-to-hang-around-for-as-long-as-yard-sales-exist kind of production.
Got typos?Fix ’em.
Hate your cover? Change it.
Missing a scene?Add it.
As long as the story is alive in the mind of the author, there is room, time and potential for change.
As a writer, I find this both scary and exciting.
Because most of the authors I know are perfectionists who can agonize for hours over the placement of a single word. Myself, I’ve tweaked a story to near death only to have my editor shrug off my concerns with a casual, “Oh, that’s nice.”
“Nice? Don’t you see the blood and brain matter on that page?” I wanted to shriek at her.
Anyway, the point of this blog is, as the title says, “More sex.” Here’s why:
In my second Screw Senility book, In With A Bang, I committed the writerly sin of falling in love with a cool line–a really nice cliffhanger line, granted–at the expense of story.
I knew this in my gut, but I didn’t listen to my inner author…until a reader–thank you, Ruth–asked, “What happens with Jed the Contractor? Do he and Judy get together in the next book?”
“Um…no,” I stutter while my brain scrambles to remember who Jed is. “He and Judy are just friends. Didn’t I make that clear?”
Of course not, dufus, or she wouldn’t have asked.
I realized immediately that poor Jed the Contractor got screwed. Or, rather, did not get screwed quite enough. He and Judy had unfinished business.
In a conventional print book, I, the author, and you, the reader, would be SOL (So…out…of..luck–don’t ask me why there’s only one O. I don’t know.) But this an eBook. I’m the ePublisher. So, guess what?
I added a new scene.
And yes, yes, yes (this is more affective if you say it ala Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally), it’s a sexy scene. A very Judy Banger scene. Jed got lucky. Very lucky. French tickler lucky.
Spring has arrived in wild, reckless profusion. The birds are carrying on something fierce outside my window. A small green and black snake just wound his way through my newly planted garden.
I love Spring. And the Easter Holiday is one of my personal favorites. I have great memories of dressing up in all my newly purchased finery–hats and gloves were a must–to go to church.
Competitive egg dying is a more recent thing, but when my nephews showed up at Grandma’s, egg hunting became a contact sport.
Nowadays, I’m seeing all sorts of toys, games, hair ties, kites and non-candy goodies showing up in Easter baskets.
This Sunday, several generations will gather at my brother’s and sister-in-law’s home to watch the “old” kids hide eggs for the “new” kids while parents snap pics and grandparents snap pics of their kids snapping pics.
I will be taking the day to turn the “online” off and reconnect via “face time,” not Facebook. But, since this is a writer’s blog, I thought I’d spread some reading goodness in case you’d like to treat yourself to some fun, spring books for your eReaders libraries. Click on any image to take you right to the Amazon page.
Now $1.99! $.99 Fun read! A great Kindle buy at $.99 LOL fun! $.99 Double RITA nominee! Now, just $.99
May you begin next week and the new month with hope renewed.
Happy Easter! And Happy Spring!
Well, check out what my Thesaurus says about the word:
amazing, astonishing, eye-opening, fortuitous, from left field, impetuous, prodigious, unpredictable, wonderful.
I get a little giddy thinking about all the possibilities: guest bloggers, Q&As with characters, super sexy, provocative photos OR pics of my dog, the rattlesnake we just killed, or anything else that might stumble into my corner of the world.
Snake, you say? 45″, 7 buttons. This big boy (or girl, I can’t tell the difference) scared the heck out of me while I was writing this blog. (It’s a beautiful spring day in Debland and my poor old deaf dog nearly got struck not ten feet from where I was sitting (on my deck).
What other types of unexpected goodies can you expect?
Well, for starters: How ’bout a Blow-out Sale?!
I reduced the price on ALL of my short fiction titles to: $1.99.
(Price changed at Amazon and Smashwords; other venues should be up soon.)
And here’s another deal: Unsuitably Perfect by Lisa Mondello, Barbara McMahon and Karen Sandler. Three complete, full-length romance novels from three bestselling authors for $4.99. You’ll have to do the math, but it sounds like a good deal to me. (I do words, I don’t do numbers.)
Read. Laugh. And if you’re eligible…Screw Senility. (I’m off to work on book III – More Bang! For Your Buck).
Judy Banger, the heroine of my Screw Senility series, is a sexual being. She’s not a hot and gorgeous twenty-something, like this model hawking Guess sunglasses. (Exactly what I would have guessed was the focus of the ad, too.) Not.
Like a great many of us, Judy belongs to a market demographic far, far from that “sex sells” ideal.
author Ilsa Evans calls this “the invisible women syndrome.”
She writes, “However this is exacerbated, hugely, by Western society being so youth-obsessed, weight-obsessed, image-obsessed. Female ageing has become demonised, an enemy to be battled on all fronts at any cost, automatically reframing the older woman as loser.”
Judy Banger would argue that age and weight does NOT define one’s sexuality anywhere other than in the media.
In Bang! You’re Dead!, she stridently declares, “I’ve got a vagina and I’m not afraid to use it.”
Actually, at 52, she’s more afraid she’ll lose it, if she doesn’t take a proactive approach to sex. So Judy is taking steps–and, yes, a mis-step or two–to embrace her inner bad girl and make up for lost time.
If Judy were writing an advice column for sexual beings of a certain age, here’s what it might look like:
Hank, my honey of forty-odd years (Well, some were normal, but most? Not so much…), is no longer interested in playing hanky with my panky, if you get my drift. What should I do to light his fire?
Signed: Still horny after all these years
Yank Hank out of his routine. You know that No-tell Motel on the edge of town? Don’t go there. Instead, book the best room in the nicest hotel in town. Nothing gets a man’s attention faster than overtly spending money he thinks might be his. Before your night at said hotel, invest in a “personal massager.” If Hank is reluctant to play, you can try using it like a Taser. It won’t lay him out flat, but he might laugh…and judiciously placed humor is a true aphrodisiac.
Signed: LOL Judy
So, what do you think? Does Judy have a future in the advice business? Or, perhaps more importantly, do you agree that the media has made “women of a certain age” invisible?
BTW, Books I and II in the Screw Senility series are currently available–click here: Bang! You’re Dead! and In With A Bang! And, because positive reviews drive sales, I’d love to give you one of my backlist titles (e- or print). Just email me a copy of the review from Amazon, B&N, Kobo, iBooks, Smashwords or Goodreads.
Thanks for reading and as Judy might say….stay naughty,