My hubby and I watched the Steve Carell movie, BEAUTIFUL BOY, a few weeks ago without knowing what it was about: one family’s struggle with addiction–and all that encompasses: recovery, hope, relapse, loss and despair. It’s wonderfully acted and felt almost too real at times. Since the screenplay was based on a true story, I found hope in its ending.
Some people might not have enjoyed the movie because it hits too close to home. I honestly didn’t think that was possible in my world–until it happened. On Monday, I got word that a young man who worked for our construction company last year had died.
Since we knew Patrick was dealing with some challenges–depression, for one–when he worked for us, we are assuming his death at age twenty-eight means he lost the battle with his demons. I don’t need to know the specifics–I can imagine them much too vividly (thanks to the movie). What I do know is: my heart hurts for his family.
I also feel fortunate to have known him. Patrick was kind, considerate and more polite than anyone his age I know. We shared some laughs on the job site, and when he was late or missed work, we cut him some slack because we knew he was doing the best he could at the time. He quit after about eight months on the job because he felt like he was letting us down–he never did.
One takeaway from the movie that really hit home is: compassion. Whatever you think about people struggling with addiction and/or mental illness means nothing if someone you love is in its clutches. Give your love, sympathy, empathy, and compassion to anyone living with this reality. When I attend his funeral tomorrow, I will remember Patrick as a sweet, gentle young man with a great smile and a kind heart…even as I blink back my tears.
Two beautiful boys, Patrick (l) and my son, JP. March 2017
Thank you, Kathleen. I was so glad I went to the funeral. This young man wrote his thoughts down in a journal and the family shared some of them. Powerful. Poignant. Truly insightful. In a way this makes losing him even tougher, but also more understandable.
I have seen first-hand with family members the cost of addiction. I grew up in that environment. It’s not easy seeing others and not allowing them to pull you down with them. And, it’s hard standing by and watching the descent and knowing you can’t fight the demons for them. Fortunately, my family members have found recovery, each at different times…compassion is one gift one can give from the sidelines.
My hubby and I watched the Steve Carell movie, BEAUTIFUL BOY, a few weeks ago without knowing what it was about: one family’s struggle with addiction–and all that encompasses: recovery, hope, relapse, loss and despair. It’s wonderfully acted and felt almost too real at times. Since the screenplay was based on a true story, I found hope in its ending.
Beautifully said 🙂
Thanks, friend! I was worried about writing this, but…here it is.
Thank you, Kathleen. I was so glad I went to the funeral. This young man wrote his thoughts down in a journal and the family shared some of them. Powerful. Poignant. Truly insightful. In a way this makes losing him even tougher, but also more understandable.
Never worry about writing about this topic. The more exposure, the better.
Thanks and well said.
I love your message here. Very well said.
Thanks, Eileen. Appreciate your support.
I’m sorry, Deb. Loss is hard. My prayers and theater with you.
Thank you, Carrie. The funeral was really tough, but I’m glad I was there for the family.
I have seen first-hand with family members the cost of addiction. I grew up in that environment. It’s not easy seeing others and not allowing them to pull you down with them. And, it’s hard standing by and watching the descent and knowing you can’t fight the demons for them. Fortunately, my family members have found recovery, each at different times…compassion is one gift one can give from the sidelines.
You are so right–it’s really hard to watch from sideline and not try to fix, but the fix has to come from within.